the other shoe

I guess I spoke too fast.  I'm a little boggled by my day, honestly.

I woke up this morning and just wasn't feeling...right...so I called in sick and went back to sleep.  When I woke up, I came downstairs and went to let Tam out of the guest room, where she's been spending nights until she gets big enough to get up on the bed herself (and to keep Toby from eating her food!).

I opened the door and found Tam sprawled on the floor.  She was stiff and cold and unresponsive.  I immediately called the vet and told them I was on the way.  Dr. Mike met me on the way in.  He looked at her and said, "I'm sorry;  she's gone."  But then Tam raised her head.

We spent over an hour and a half working with her, pumping drugs into her and trying to warm her up.  Mike told me that she had hookworms and that this probably put her into shock, which was just too much for her little body.  He finally told me that I had three options:  I could stay as long as I needed to, I could take her home and try and warm her up with a heating pad, or I could take her to the emergency vet.  He said that, if she were his, he'd take her home.  So I did.

I spent the afternoon holding her.  My friend Chris came over and helped.  But just before 7 tonight, Tam stopped breathing.  She was seven weeks old.  

I can't stop crying.